When I was little, I wanted to be an astronaut. I was enchanted by the cosmos. When we were told to write a report, I would write about the stars. I loved science and thinking about the future of mankind. As I grew older I continued to love reading and writing science fiction.

When I was an adult I met the son of the man I would marry. His name was Jack. He wanted to be an astronomer. He had memorized facts about all the planets and he could draw detailed shuttles and ships. Jack was diagnosed with a form of high-functioning autism called Asperger’s. People with Asperger’s tend to have highly analytical minds and a singular, life-long passion. Jack’s is for space.

I became Jack’s mom. And I love the idea that I harbored an affinity for the planets so that one day I could identify with this special little boy. Over Jack’s bed, we’ve pinned detailed images of all the planets, in order...

My very first place on my own was a one-bedroom on Broadway, walking distance from my job in a high-rise on Main. I had white curtains, white sheets, a warm exposed brick wall, and high, open ceilings. I loved hosting get-togethers and showing off my view of the Kansas City skyline. Then my sister and I moved into The Spider House, which was a slightly longer walk to work, but still close by. I disliked the hardwood floors that felt inhospitable, the creaking and groaning of that huge, old house, and the way that everything felt worn out. It earned its moniker when construction next door sent hordes of brown recluse spiders to take up residence with us, and we hastily retreated to a new home.

The next apartment my sister and I moved into was two houses up and two houses over. It was much newer, with fresh paint and high, open ceilings like my first place. I got a dog, and I loved...

24 Chinook Cir NLR felt small
4510 N Olive St felt dark
209 N Beverley Ave was too small for our family
4601 Arlington Dr, a foreclosure, needed too much
5901 Lowrance Dr had a quirky layout
6408 Pawnee Dr wasn’t right
I don’t remember anything about 52 Flag

I despise wood paneled walls
My family needs a home with a minimum of 1600 sq ft
Pink or green tiled bathrooms are so very ugly
I want normal doors in normal frames – no wild west saloons
I hate dark woods, dark rooms, weird wallpapers, weird paint colors
I cannot abide mold or flood zones

My family would love:
Bay windows
Wrap-around porches
Built-in shelving
Nice kitchens
A single story
Arches
Vaulted ceilings
Sunrooms
White crown moulding

Zillow. When I search for homes in Little Rock I do not want to live in:
Alexander, Austin, Bauxite, Beebe, Benton, Bryant, Cabot, Conway, Jacksonville, Lonoke, Mabelvale, Maumelle...

Everything breaks down. Seams strain and burst. Good moods turn to bad. It is impossible to share a vehicle with someone for innumerable hours without finding things about them which irritate you.

Then there’s real imperfect life colliding with perfectly laid plans. You make a pattern of sleeping at only Days Inns until the night you can’t find one, and a pattern that shouldn’t mean anything breaks apart, and it hurts you, even though you know it shouldn’t.

And someone decides to kill himself and leave two young sons and their mom, as well as his own mom, behind. And you don’t know what to say when your son asks you why, because the truth is that no one understands it. We can all look at it from the outside and see he made the wrong choice. And no one can say why he couldn’t see that, and stop it from happening.

And even though it’s selfish, you’re exhausted and worn down by the fact...

I waited too late to write and now I’m really tired, so this will be brief.

This morning we washed all the dirty laundry in the bathtub with shampoo then took it to the laundromat to dry.

We drove 2hrs to the Meteor Crater. I had a special moment taking a picture with my family in the same place I took with my family 16 yrs ago.

Then we drove 2hrs to the Grand Canyon, and we looked over the edge just like I had with my family.

One more hour of driving. And here we are at our fourth Day’s Inn. :) Good night y'all.

Today was weird. I worked hard (via people skills) to ensure our admittance back into the Don Harrington Discovery Center for the second day, so we could watch the movies we’d missed before. We went back in without problems to watch the first movie, which unfortunately was geared toward much younger kids than Jack. Parts of it were ok, but parts were very babyish. We had 30 minutes til the next one, so we set Jack free to play.

Then we discussed that the funeral has been tentatively set for Wednesday and Liz asked Doug to speak. Doug’s mom and sister suggested Doug fly back so the vacation trip wouldn’t have to be cancelled. I wasn’t sure why anyone thought I would want to continue without him, or that I would be capable of it, or that I’d be able to keep from murdering everyone without his calming influence. I had tried to explain to Doug just a few nights before the trip how I viewed...

Yesterday we put in a total of 6 hours of driving, ate all grocery meals, hand washed our clothes in the sink. Our destination of the day was Science Museum Oklahoma in Oklahoma City and it was awesome.

This morning after finding that the continental breakfast was a myth, we ate grocery breakfast and toured the Stafford Air and Space Museum in Weatherford OK. It was also awesome.

Adan’s friend Elena offered to drive an hour and a half to treat us to Italian lunch, so we hung around waiting, drying clothes on the roof of the car and paying bills. I misplaced my sunglasses but couldn’t find them even after I swept the museum twice.

Then Doug found out that one of his oldest friends had committed suicide. We couldn’t begin to understand how to process this, so we continued on with food and driving.

We reached the Don Harrington Discovery Center to find that the exhibits, while all...

Two years ago, my husband Doug and I agreed to open our marriage to polyamory, the ethical non monogamous practice of being in more than one love relationship at a time. My lifelong best friend Christopher had recently separated from his wife for the second time in ten years, and it was clear this time it was going to stick. When the dust settled, I was there for him.

“If I asked you to be my boyfriend, would you want to?”

Silence on the phone. And then, “Yes.”

Thus began our venture into poly, me with a husband and a boyfriend, and Doug with the intention of finding a girlfriend to balance the scales. Christopher wanted to move to Little Rock eventually, but first he would have to sell his house, which meant fixing it up, which meant a lot of time and work. So we thought, in a year or two, he’d make it out here.

Two years ago, I started planning our first Family Vacation. It would...

Doug vetoed all homes in zip codes 72204 and 72209

I vetoed all homes with fewer than 4 bedrooms

We looked at homes on Sunday 7/12

18 Oakview Dr, North Little Rock, AR 72118

5901 La Mirado Dr, North Little Rock, AR 72118

819 W 55th St, North Little Rock, AR 72118

1101 N Cleveland St, Little Rock, AR 72207

10814 Birchwood Dr, Little Rock, AR 72211

Mirado and Birchwood emerged as the favorites

10 Serenity Dr, Little Rock, AR 72205 declined our viewing,
purchase already in process

7108 Marguerite Ln, Little Rock, AR 72205 declined our viewing,
purchase already in process

We looked at homes on Thursday 7/16

1401 Garland Ave, North Little Rock, AR 72116

9004 Penrose Ln, Little Rock, AR 72205

Penrose was the favorite of these

I wanted to show my family, in town for the weekend, our top faves

We looked at homes on Sunday 7/19

5901 La Mirado Dr, North Little Rock, AR...