road trip day 3
Today was weird. I worked hard (via people skills) to ensure our admittance back into the Don Harrington Discovery Center for the second day, so we could watch the movies we’d missed before. We went back in without problems to watch the first movie, which unfortunately was geared toward much younger kids than Jack. Parts of it were ok, but parts were very babyish. We had 30 minutes til the next one, so we set Jack free to play.
Then we discussed that the funeral has been tentatively set for Wednesday and Liz asked Doug to speak. Doug’s mom and sister suggested Doug fly back so the vacation trip wouldn’t have to be cancelled. I wasn’t sure why anyone thought I would want to continue without him, or that I would be capable of it, or that I’d be able to keep from murdering everyone without his calming influence. I had tried to explain to Doug just a few nights before the trip how I viewed his presence in my life.
“You’re my everything,” I told him. “You’re my universe.”
“But I’m not. We’re poly. I can’t be your everything when you have other people you love too.”
I scrunched up my face, trying to put into words. “You’re…the linchpin. Without you, everything else falls apart. You’re the sun of my solar system.”
So we agreed that we would do whatever it was that we were doing with the trip and the funeral together. After the second movie, which was way better, we went out to the car to make sandwiches and eat lunch. Then we tried to talk to Jack about the trip.
“Hey, Buddy, how upset would you be if we called this the end of the trip and headed home now?”
“Not very.”
“You would not be very upset?”
“Nah. I’m kinda museum’d out.”
I turned back to see him clicked away at his tablet, clearly not paying attention. I decided to start over.
“Jack, pause.” I waited. “Is it ok if we skip the rest of the trip and don’t go to the Meteor Crater right now? Maybe go see it on a different trip sometime later?”
Comprehension was dawning. “But that’s the point of the trip. Can’t we just skip all the museums and go straight there?”
He had a point. We did some calculations. It could be done. We’d still have time to get to the funeral on Wednesday. But it was hard. So hard to let go of everything I had planned. Everything I had pored over and charted and lovingly organized.
I slowly turned the pages of the printed itenerary and looked over each destination that would be crossed out.
“Ok. Let’s do it.”